Essays to a Swan

Sleep Eros

Sleep and Eros, Shasa, 22 Aug 2015 – MMXV
To every Miss Right, everywhere, especially those who don’t find it.

But of course you know I love you Or what else am I here for
Only you not face to face But side by side for evermore
closer to believing

Sex is the litmus test, only necessary when all the other pieces have fit together. You need to first understand, inspire and care for. Have similar tastes when possible. Make each other laugh, smile or cry. Hold hands and watch the sunset. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.

Walk along the shore, or by a brook. Stand under the stars and pass the minutes in awe, and companionable silence. Have pillow fights and armwrestle. Tap each other gently on the head. Clasp a head to your bosom, or stroke a cheek, idly running fingers through hair, or beard, or chest hair as you are wont to do.

Carry her piggyback through the woods. Or tightly embrace in the sea or a swimming pool. Calmly push away a lock of hair when she is reading or cooking. Link your hands and bury them in the sand.

Toil away your days in separation, but dine together and share in your gaiety. Watch a movie together or read aloud your favourite poem or that wistful piece from the book you are reading. Play some soft music and rest your head in her lap, the cradle of the world.

Clasp her hands to your forehead and then to your lips. Let them rest on your heart, gently rising and falling as you take in her intoxicating aurra. Sing to her, dont test her endurance by singing entire songs, just a few lines here and there. Renew your oaths to love, cherish and uplift one another.

Get on your knees and kiss her royal hand, O Queen of thine heart. Embrace her hips whilst still kneeling. Express your love in new ways. When you wake in the night, squeeze her hand then intertwine your fingers.

—- (tone change)

Days we would spend without touching or at most, a clasping of the top of the head. Yearning for her embrace, living for that moment.

These experiences took a year to accumulate. In bed, we never knew where the one began and the other ended. I was rarely tumescent in her presence, mostly gleeful, sitting back and drinking in her quiet beauty, serenity and poise.

Then one night she decided to sleep on top of me, our hips melded together. What can I say other than that I rose to the occasion. And this, after sharing the same bed for three months. The next night, I decided to return the favour and gently slid my hands under her slip and cupped her breasts.

A week later, she surprised me by coming out of the shower topless. I instantly walked upto her and kissed her on the lips, our first wet, lingering kiss. I took my shirt off and gently held her to me. Time came to a standstill with me chiding her for drawing chapter one to a close and filling me with anticipation and the fear that I wouldnt please enough.

Kissing fiercely was always my fondest memory. Breathing fire into each other’s hearts. Humming gently whilst our tongues twisted and wrestled together.

After a few minutes, I would stop thrusting and just hold her lips tightly to mine, my fingers running across the small of her back. She would put her finger in my mouth and moan softly. For my birthday, she bought a table, rubber sheets and scented oil. We would spend precious minutes every day sliding all over and into each other.

Often times I would have breakfast in bed, bringing her to climax slowly. I would interrupt my act of love to tease, asking silly questions or making her sing to me. I never let her return the favour, happy to be the one to pleasure her.

Sometimes she would walk into the shower and stand there butt naked and begin to touch herself. She would stop and beckon softly. Then sidle up behind me and hold me in her loving hands. Just before I went over the edge, she would stop and gesture to me to pick her up. I would gently take her to bed and finger her till her groaning was one continuous sound…

She would stop me in the nick of time, guiding me into her wetness. Then she would close her eyes and lie back. She often convulsed just a few seconds before I shuddered. Then we would just lie there, a gentle hand to cover each other’s warmth. But our hands wouldnt be still long. For me, the second orgasm would take a good twenty minutes, but she would fiercely stroke me or climb on top of me, taking full control.

She liked having me wear thin cotton shorts and would come and sit on my lap in the park. I would hug her from behind and slide a hand in to cover her sex. When she’d had enough anticipation, she would turn and look at me with a plea in her eyes and we would hasten back home.

Some mornings as we spooned, I would say to her “lets go”. Times this was early enough to get to the shoreline to catch the sun rise.

We tried drawing out the foreplay, and found, as an experiment had shown, that we could literally make sparks fly if we drew it out long enough (say a week).

There are some mountains which, having climbed, you simply spread your hands and fly. And fly we did! Together!

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