Gratitude wakes us up to the goodness and beauty of life, However we have to choose it .

This is an undeniable truth; my challenge is with choosing Gratitude

Let’s examine this closely , the baby boomer generation is possibly in touch with parents telling them not to waste food and to eat all that is kept on their plate , whether they like it or not . They asked us to be grateful for the food that is there, added to which they reminded you that some child in Ethiopia had no food at all for days !

Yes ! And finish it we did.

My question today is how can I be grateful if I have not acknowledged the simple fact that I hate beans and even though I understand Gratitude at a conceptual level ,I cannot experience it until I really am full .

So I got to think and see where my own gratitude was lacking.

First, I want to be understood about why I am complaining. Empathize with myself to see where it was emerging from; otherwise, my gratitude is a whitewash. Yes at one level I agree that it was about developing an incline to being grateful, but in my experience it was a feeling that arose out of the blue

unannounced because I was touched by a realization , a thankfulness ,a sense of being blessed and giving voice to this feeling

So If I look at it from a Non Violent Communication model

I would examine my observations

I see the beans in front of me on my plate

The feelings

I feel irritated and upset

The Needs

I am needing understanding that I find them unappetizing

Request

Could you cook something else for me ?

When I am crabby, I acknowledge my crabbiness, but I don’t have to go through “The Second Arrow” as the Buddhists say, I have the option of not suffering the pain of the unmet need, to accept and move on. This is one more way I learn to be grateful.

When I do not acknowledge my feelings, stay with it, or process it, I lose touch with aspects of myself that are speaking to me, so it is important to empathize, validate and acknowledge my unmet needs before I come to the gratitude horizon.

Without acknowledging the gap in my heart Gratitude becomes an empty phrase, a good-to – do habit , It does not come from a space of honors and reverence of what you have

*The Buddha said, “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. And with this second arrow comes the possibility of choice.”

When I feel a sense of Ingratitude, I view most things from a space of Entitlement

This means that the world owes me a living, happiness and abundance. it makes me devoid of ownership in working toward that . It deprives me of feeling Equal, instead it takes me to be lesser than

It takes me to the next level of being Bitter, when I do not receive this ,what I think I am entitled to , I cannot function from a space of Compassion or Giving

Over the years I become a Victim and think that Life has been unfair to me, or that My Life is a failure, I reinforce that I am helpless and weak

This majorly stems from me being Self Absorbed , when I cannot look at others and look around at what I already have , savour what I am blessed with , Sadly I can so rarely look at the struggles that other have , or be Other centric

To summarize

Lets have a clear understanding of what are my needs ? Abundance? Prosperity? Health?

What am I feeling when I do not have these Needs met? What steps can I activate to have them met ?

What requests can I make of the others and myself in my life?

How can I shift from a vertical that is scarce to abundance?

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Gratitude Is More Than An Attitude